12/2/2009

Jerkass Customer: Hi, I need to get a passbook for this account number. Apparently you guys did not make one for me when I open the account here. 

Bank Employee A: No, we give passbook to every account opened.

Jerkass Customer: Look, I told you that you did not make one for me.

Bank Employee A: It's impossible. I'm sure each customer will have one passbook upon registration.

Jerkass Customer: You go check with my company. That time when I opened the account you people  gave me an option of whether or not getting the passbook.

Bank Employee B: What seems to be the problem? (Taking over from Bank Employee A)

Jerkass Customer: Look, I already had this same conversation last 4 month. All I want is to get the frigging passbook so I can print the frigging bank statement for my frigging loan!

Bank Employee B: But we are certain we issued passbook to each new customer!

Jerkass Customer: (Annoyed) OK! So be it! Let's just assumed I lost the book! So can you just make me a new frigging passbook so I don't need to have this conversation AGAIN next time?

Bank Employee B: That will be RM20 sir.

Jerkass Customer: Yeah, you take that bloody 20 bucks.

Bank Employee B: Sir, you opened your account since 2006. You really don't have a passbook?

Jerkass Customer: YES I DON'T HAVE IT FOR 3 YEARS!

Bank Employee C: (Barge in) Did I hear you want to get a loan? What loan you're getting sir? Car loan? Would you like to apply from us?

Jerkass Customer: NO! I just applied from your bank last few month and it was slow as hell. 

Bank Employee C: But different people different working style. Maybe the agent is just slow, we are faster.

Jerkass Customer: (Growing a horn, beard and tail. Reddish eye.) Look, can we not talk about your bloody loan before this issue with passbook is settled?

Bank Employee C walk away, pissed off.

Bank Employee B: Please fill in these forms please and sign here and there. Please take a seat first.

Jerkass Customer: (Thinking to himself) What the hell is wrong with these people? I'd told them time and time again that they did not give me the passbook. Don't they understand English?

Bank Employee B: Sir I can't give you the passbook today because there is still unsettled transaction in your account. Can you come back again tomorrow?

Jerkass Customer: What??? (grumbling) Fine I'll come back tomorrow. Then can you print me  the 3 month bank statement for my loan?

Bank Employee B: I'm sorry but we can only print one month bank statement only for you.

Jerkass Customer: What? But last time one of you just printed it for me! (and they did) How come now you can't?

Bank Employee B: I think only credit officer can do that. Can I know the officer in charged that time?

Jerkass Customer: How would I be able to remember her name? It's like 4 month ago!

Bank Employee B: I really can't do anything...

Jerkass Customer: !@#$%^& (mumbling to himself again) Fine I'll come back again tomorrow for the passbook.

[On the way back]

Jerkass Customer: I'd told them repeatedly that I don't have the passbook! Why can't they just listen? Keep telling me I had it... Fine, I'll search my drawer. If I can't find it they're doomed tomorrow.

[At home, searching his drawer]

Jerkass Customer: Maybank... RHB... Alliance... see? I told them I don't frigging have it! Oh wait, what's this? If it isn't...

... FUCK.

[The Jerkass Customer is too embarrased of what had happened and decided not to go back to the bank for at least another 3 month.]